James Talarico, an Austin area legislator in the state’s lower chamber, is suddenly cast into the role of MAGA villain, par excellence, following his primary victory against congresscritter Jasmine Crockett.
The reason for Talarico’s vilification: simply put, they’re all scared he might win the Senate seat he’s campaigning for. If the latest polls are to be believed, a match between Talarico and either Ken Paxton or incumbent John Cornyn, both of whom are in a run-off, if it were held today, show a Talarico victory as of this writing.
This, of course, is preposterous and unacceptable to any hardline MAGA Republicans. Talarico, who has made his earnest Christian faith a huge part of his political brand, has advocated for affordable healthcare and for increased funding to public schools, and better pay for those who teach in said schools. How dare he express such deviant, shocking and outright evil viewpoints. Such nerve!
President Donald Trump even weighed in on Talarico, by calling him an “insult to Jesus” because he is “beyond woke.”
In response, Talarico said “You want to know what insults Jesus? Kicking the sick off their health care while cutting taxes for billionaires.”
Within his comments, he also took aim at political corruption, hypocrisy and the war nobody seems to want.
“You know what insults Jesus? Bombing innocent school children in Iran and sending our brave men and women off to die in another forever war… covering up the Epstein files and then refusing to prosecute a single person in them,” Talarico said.
To add to that, Talarico has, in his time in the state legislature, pooh-poohed all of the culture war nonsense that many politicians conveniently wield to mask actual issues. From banning supposedly risque library books to the made-up “furries” in public school classrooms topic, Talarico has turned these things on their ear, and his reasoned responses have made for widely shared videos. Plus, he has the audacity to acknowledge that trans people exist and that they do not bother him. The only possible explanation here is that the young man must be possessed by demons.
That’s right, folks, you read it here first. Forget polling data and political analysis, the man must be possessed by demons, and I’ll tell you why.
For one, James Talarico speaks in complete sentences, and he even appears to have read books. In a political climate where outrage is the all-too-common dominant dialect, and where nuance is treated as some sort of invasive species, Talarico’s intelligence, reason and calmness is deeply unnatural, heck, some might even say preternatural.
While some political commentators might state, with confidence, that Talarico’s demeanor is the result of his education and his personal convictions, a more plausible theory is, yes, that James Talarico’s supposed thoughtfulness and coherence is the by-product of demonic possession.
Consider the evidence: Talarico is fond of quoting the Bible in ways that suggest familiarity as opposed to weaponization, which, of course, raises the specter of suspicion. Talarico even engages with people with whom he disagrees WITHOUT IMMEDIATELY SUMMONING RHETORICAL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE. Shocking, and even more suspicious!
Worst of all, Talarico is known to frame political disagreements as simple matters of differing opinions and priorities as opposed to apocalyptic battles full of end times references. Quite frankly, all of this behavior rightfully would scare any proper modern-day partisan.
Ultimately, with all of his fancy reasoning and critical thinking skills, James Talarico should know that only Republicans have a right to rule Texas. What unmitigated gall he must have, or is it some literate, ancient demon taking up residence within his body and doing his thinking for him?
There could, of course, be alternative theories to explain his supposed earnestness and his aw shucks (or is that “aw shuck-and-jive”) demeanor. Some probably even go so far as to claim he is sincere, but since when have we seen actual sincerity in politics?
Decency in politics is also a moribund concept. The sainted Jimmy Carter is, of course, the most pre-eminent example of an incredibly decent human being who wound up in the most powerful position on earth, and of course, we’ve got folks in our recent political back-pages like George W. Bush and Mitt Romney who are decent men and about as wholesome as a Sunday picnic, but this is 2026, and we expect our leaders to be depraved, psychotic and corrupt. The Jerry Springer era of politics demands it.
While demonic possession could certainly explain why James Talarico seems so alien to today’s current political climate, the real joke here isn’t about demons at all, but about how quickly we reach for the absurd when confronted with something unfamiliar. Talarico is a politician who doesn’t fit the mold we’ve come to expect from representatives flying the red or blue flag for both the major street gangs, and if that feels unsettling, then, well…maybe the problem has nothing to do with the supernatural at all, but is an earthbound predicament of our own ridiculous making.
Many Christian nationalists, who have sold their souls in exchange for political power would, no doubt, take the satirical reading of Talarico I just gave you as an unquestionable truth, but instead of dragging him down in hate-filled screeds on social media, why not just engage with the man and his ideas? But I guess it’s easier to call on an exorcist than to debate policy in this day and age.
Chris Edwards is editor of the Tyler County Booster, a sister newspaper in the Polk County Publishing Group. He can be reached at cedwards@polkcountypublishing.com.
