Have you realized that good ideas are sometimes awfully hard to put into practice?
Take chores as an example. Most of us agree that having responsibilities about the house are important ways for children learn that we each play an important part in our family. They begin to understand the amount of labor involved in providing for our daily needs and an appreciation of the jobs others fulfill.
Children also develop self-esteem and self-confidence as they develop skills needed to help and are able to later use these skills in life outside the home, such as in school, college, the workplace, etc.
However, and this is where the good idea hits a snag, there is a world of difference in chores. “Take out the garbage” seems simple enough ... but for the family who has garbage pickup at the curb this job is easier than for the family who must load garbage to be hauled several miles to a dump. “Sweep the kitchen” is a shorter job for the child in a smaller home and a harder job for the child who lives where sandy soil is tracked in.
The good idea of chores then must be considered primarily as a method of teaching responsibilities, an indicator of maturing ability for the child, a “status symbol,” if you will, that indicates the child is growing more capable, more able to “pitch in”, is “growing up”. What the child is able to do depends in large part on the early training received from parents. With chores, as with almost every other area of children’s development, starting early is the trick.
I once read that three-year-olds are the best people to have helping dust, especially chair rungs, table legs, base boards, etc. Know why? Because they are much closer to the floor than adults are.
So how young is too young to begin? I think, as with any other area, we must watch for the child’s interest. Don’t you know 10-year-olds who just beg to mow the lawn? And teenagers you can’t bribe to do it? How about the 5-year-olds who love to wash dishes and teens just hate to. It is a problem of the “match”, of getting the right job for the right age.
Young children like to be with parents, to do what parents are doing: as any activity can and should be a learning experience, so with household responsibilities and chores. When you are dusting, try giving your child a rag, also; let young children set the table and wash dishes with you; ask for their help sorting out clothing, putting away their own socks, underwear, towels, etc.
If their drawers aren’t arranged so they can do this you are wasting valuable time ... theirs, for learning, and yours, in continuing to do for them what they can do for themselves. A wonderful side benefit of having children develop the ability to be helpful is the time you spend with them contributes to their development in so many other areas.
Working together creates conversational opportunities many of us lack time for. Sharing family work can be a pleasant time and help children to develop a positive attitude.
An interesting thing often happens as children become more aware of the amount of work needed in keeping the household going. They can become more careful about where they put things, more capable of keeping up with personal possessions, more likely to remember to wipe mud from shoes and to pick up wet towels in the bathroom.
Once children get past the terrible twos, they really want to please their parents. Reward your child’s efforts with praise for the job being done, not just for the quality of the work. Towels folded by a 5-year-old won’t look like towels folded by an adult ... but why do they need to for you to give praise? Keep in mind that all of us are learners in some area and we all get better as we practice. The best reward of all is for your child to learn that you value their help and appreciate their contribution.
