What did I just read?

It’s almost May, so that means it’s time for the annual I-really-don’t-have-a-column-idea-so-let’s-make-fun-of-things column.

Not that there’s not something to write about, what with the Iran War, the indictment of the Southern Poverty Law Center, more fun with redistricting, the DOJ bringing back firing squads and numerous tax-the-rich plans being bandied about.

But in the immortal words of Dr. Rumack, that’s not important right now. Here are some of the things that have become important in the world of news.

• Large tornado stayed on the ground in Oklahoma for more than 30 minutes. Why would you want to know that?
• There’s a real-life Narnia, and it’s a mountain kingdom in Northern Europe.
• Apparently, there exists a dangerous irony in a new dictat from Pete Hegseth allowing annual flu vaccinations for military members to be voluntary.
• NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani vetoed a bill to curb antisemitism by expanding security in places of education, and every and all are shocked, I say. It was his first veto, too.
• Coffee has a surprisingly good effect on gut bacteria and mental health. So why am I still so fluffy?
• Most of the wagyu beef bought in America didn’t come from Japan like it’s supposed to. We all are a little less for that.
• Senate Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries apparently became unmoored after a child reporter asks why voters view Democrats so negatively. Kids ask the darndest things.
• According to one poster on X, Democrats are better followers of the teachings of Jesus than anyone else.
• There has been a plethora of seizures at U.S. airports of monkey carcasses and illegal meat. They must have missed the wagyu.
• Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz is saying that there’s no fraud in his state, it’s just GOP gaslighting.
• Trader Joe’s customers are frothing over coffee, apparently because it doesn’t have enough caffeine. They’re really hot about it.
• Someone decided, and then posted weird information, that the reason Tim Cook stepped down as chairman of Apple is because the company donated to the Southern Poverty Law Center.
• Please have your robes and burkas handy: according to one report, the Muslim Brotherhood’s stealth campaign to transform America is winning.
• In a move reminiscent of Charlie Hustle (Pete Rose), a U.S. special forces member won a lot of money betting on the U.S. capture of Venezuelan President Maduro.

I’m truly stunned at what passes for news stories lately, but more to the point, I’m truly stunned that the behavior of ridiculous or dangerous people has become the norm for reporting.

Back in the day, when someone did something or said something wrong, bad, or ignorant, society shunned them and let the proper authorities deal with it. Behavior that is being lauded as edgy or speaking truth to power used to get a person into hot water.

Schools would send malcontents and delinquents home instead of allowing things like antisemitic protests effect education on campuses. Businesses found that people throwing fits about whatever that made the company look bad were shown the door. Neighborhood residents would shut doors and windows on people believed to be bad seeds. But when you praise poor behavior, or, as the Bible says, good becomes bad and bad becomes good, you get a society interested more in spectacle that in proper behavior.

News outlets also covered news things, and didn’t feel the needs to harp on Heidi Klum or LeAnn Rimes and their new bikinis.

I just want to read something with facts and be able to make my own mind up. Leave the rest to the National Enquirer.

Tony Farkas is editor of the Trinity County News-Standard and the San Jacinto News-Times. He can be reached at tony@polkcountypublishing.com.