Don’t become a face on my dartboard:

Posted

A similar essay almost came from my pen right after Easter this year, when I discovered that a horrible person was attempting to re-home a rabbit, whom she just saw as a prop for photo gigs.

As teed off as I was and compelled to write something then, it would have come across as a polemic, with my ample supply of venom-filled darts directed at the person. She’s still, in my book, a complete waste of DNA, but I have mellowed my opinion on her a little.

Traditionally, during the overall season of holidays that come around November-January, I write a piece to warn and educate you all on the dangers of improper apostrophe use. While that topic is still most certainly tremendously vital, now that Christmas is upon us, the topic of animals as gifts bears an even larger significance.

It won’t be long (probably starting in about a month) until the Book of Face is flooded with posts, with unfeeling morons stating the need to “re-home” pets.

These are folks, mind you, who had purchased a puppy or a kitten as a Christmas gift, yet all of a sudden, there are factors as to why they cannot keep that cute-as-a-button pupper or kitten.

It’s all, as the outgoing Oval Office dude would say, malarkey.

So you’re moving to a new apartment that doesn’t allow pets? Well, find another place to live, then.

You claim you are allergic to that adorable kitten, who is quickly growing up into a handsome chonky boi? Well, get some allergy medicine, and by the way, most folks who claim to be “allergic” to cats are sensitive to their dander, anyway.

You have yourself a partner who doesn’t want you to have a canine family member at your side and threatens to break up with you unless you haul the dog to a shelter? Well, in that case, 86 that sorry excuse for a boyfriend/girlfriend from your life.

So having a furry, pointy-eared family member wasn’t all you expected it would be? Well, too bad. They are FAMILY, and it’s time to step up and take care of them.

There are a multitude of excuses that people tend to give as to why they cannot care for an animal, after they’ve already purchased or adopted one. The “new puppy” or “new kitty” excitement might wear off, but re-homing an animal is extremely traumatic to them, and shelters are full to capacity, post-Christmas.

If you adopt an animal, it’s a lifetime commitment, and a loving, dear family member who won’t mind the goofy, awkward things you do on your own time. They’ll be there for you no matter what.

Merry Christmas to all of y’all, and be sure to get some extra treats for the furry family members in your life.