Never say, “Never.” I just thought that with the last child leaving home that the “no-more-sitting-on-bleachers” theory would hold true.
Not!
There we were, Dad and I, one more time, again, sitting in the stands, watching a “kid” do his thing. In fact, all day long, at the N’awlins’ Air Show, we watched lots of “kids” do their thing as well as watching ours do his. Were we proud? Oh, yes!
Eldest son was responsible, (with, as he said, help from the greatest group of guys), for planning and coordinating the Naval Air Station, New Orleans, La., annual air show. Great individual aerobatics along with the fabled Thunderbirds provided thrills and chills; displays of aircraft, including the Stealth Fighter and exciting demonstrations of the Harrier, Cobra, B-52, and the F-14 Tomcat capabilities, coupled with capacity crowds and beautiful blue October skies made the day absolutely perfect.
Funny thing; I watched him, so “in charge” but totally unflustered by all the activity and I marveled that we had even a little bit to do with him. Small credit due us, you understand; he had a lot to work with from the start, and lots of other great influences as he developed.
Is it nature that designs kids to be what they become? Is it nurture, the parenting that guides and directs, making the most of native abilities? Is it teachers who stimulate thinking and encourage educational achievement? What role do Scout leaders, camp counselors, coaches and relatives play in a child’s development? Are they all part of a delicately balanced equation or can some parts be reduced and/or substituted for another? Does C (child) + P (parents) + S (school) + O (others) = SUCCESS? How does this all work out?
They tell us our son is unfailingly calm and thoughtful, caring about those under his command and never throws his weight around. He was a nice little kid, too. Nature? Nurture? He has an incredible knowledge base and learns well. Nature? Nurture? Effort? He also is a risk taker, having jumped off a doghouse at age three trying to fly. Nature?
Whatever it is, whether kids come with all the equipment or not, good or poor parenting, presence or absence of influential others, the constant in the equation is school. School must be for many kids the biggest part of the equation, especially for those who have other parts missing altogether.
Challenging, caring, educating, stimulating, socializing, stretching, teaching and healing, schools are the only place many kids get the nurture to go with their nature. Schools must reach all the children, all the time, to enable each one to reach his fullest potential.
So there we were, again. After all the big-name aerobatics were done, after the crowd (600,000) had gone and his duties were over, our boy tried his hand at aerobatics. Just one plane, a small speck in the fading afternoon light.
For us, he was the entire show.
Darby Kethan has a master's degree in child development, and has experience as a social worker, educator of young children, educational consultant, and as a professional trainer for a national educational foundation providing professional development to teachers. Visit her website at darbykethan.com.
