I cannot even begin to understand a man like Louis Farrakhan. I have read some of his writings (if you haven’t, you should) and I am frankly scared of where he plans to lead his “nation.”
However, as flawed as he may be as a man and as a public figure, I hope that the October 1885 Million Man March snowballs into a real movement.
Media coverage of the event emphasized family responsibility of men and bringing to the attention of us all the staggering problems caused by divided families and irresponsible parenting.
Almost any efforts made by almost anyone to promote family unity and parental responsibility deserve our support. The problem now is keeping alive the spirit of the march and the determination of those attending to make changes.
It is too bad that the biological process of conception is not tied directly to the physical and financial responsibility for a child. Some links like an unbreakable chain tying babies to those responsible for their conception could at least serve as reminders of the awesomeness of that responsibility. It is just too easy to walk away and say, “Sorry, no.”
The real problem with all the preschool children being raised without fathers today is they will, in 10 or 12 years, be teenagers without fathers. Teens have “bigger” difficulties than preschoolers; somehow their messes are much larger and harder to clean up.
Young adults need parents not only for role models but also for “road maps,” to serve as information resources not only about what growing up is like but also for transmitting family histories and values.
Sixty years from now, kids growing up without dads become adults, still having identity problems caused by nutritional, emotional, financial, medical, educational, and familial deprivation, if not physical and emotional abuse during their young years.
“The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother.”
Songs, movies, television shows and novels that glorify single parenthood really do not deal with the sorrow and never-ending loss of not knowing who your daddy was or why you were born. Millions of kids are growing to adulthood with only the physical likeness of their “sperm donor,” not the physical presence of a Daddy, in their lives.
Any man can learn parenting skills and become more responsible. Any man can learn to take the obligation upon himself to provide for his offspring. Any man can learn to say, “I had you. I’ll take care of you”. No matter what kind of dad you had — good, bad, average or absent — you do understand how important it is for your child to have either what you had or what you missed.
The call to personal responsibility, financial responsibility, family responsibility, is long overdue, no matter who makes it.
Louis Farrakhan may not be our ideal in many ways but his effect, for good, for our children, can change us for the best.
Darby Kethan has a master's degree in child development, and has experience as a social worker, educator of young children, educational consultant, and as a professional trainer for a national educational foundation providing professional development to teachers. Visit her website at darbykethan.com.
