So, we’re told that the Hantavirus exists, and doctors claim it can spread through contact with infected rodents. It, like the novel coronavirus that took over all the available airspace in 2020, produces dangerous respiratory symptoms, and in some cases, death.
But let’s maintain perspective here. The main thing we should be concerned about, according to our President Donald Trump, is whether or not the grand ballroom, which is now the subject of $1 billion in possible taxpayer-provided funds, will be completed on schedule.
Forget about fretting over matters such as inflation, healthcare costs or, God forbid, a rodent-borne plague. This is far more important.
I mean, for cryin’ out loud, we are a nation that deep-fries butter and Oreos, and we strap lawnchairs to pontoons. I have even seen a pickup with four bald tires deemed roadworthy on more than one occasion. So, when have we ever been about proceeding with caution? The situation with Trump’s ballroom is far more alarming.
The real questions keeping Americans awake at night have nothing to do with another possible pandemic. No, we’re all wondering if there will be enough marble in the ballroom, or if the ceiling will feature a mural depicting eagles, cherubs, or perhaps a rendering of a muscular Trump eating a Big Mac while strangling inflation with his other hand. Our president has envisioned a glittering monument to his greatness, and it would be simply un-patriotic not to support its construction.
I mean, this ballroom is going to be the biggest, best and most state-of-the-art in the history of time, right? President Trump, himself, said initially that the cost would be $200 million, which then became $400 million, and now, there is an effort to get it funded, for $1 billion, with taxpayer money, so supporting it must be the patriotic thing to do, right?
While public health experts have been in the news, with concern about the spread of this new plague, which has been, so far, confined to a cruise ship, where is their concern about the acoustics of the ballroom to be found? Not one single epidemiologist has explained whether or not Kid Rock and his full band will sound great beneath a 40-foot gold-leaf dome. Frankly, that seems suspicious.
The nation anxiously awaits updates on the ballroom project and waits with bated breath for Congress to pass the $1 billion funding component for it.
Just think – towering columns, golden accents, crystal chandeliers and lots of fancy bathrooms will just be a few of the many accoutrements the ballroom will have to offer. Trump’s ballroom will, in time, be ranked by historians alongside the Hoover Dam and the moon landing as one of the greatest achievements in our country’s history.
The mainstream, corporate-owned media keeps pushing fear of the Hantavirus, though, with stories reporting about symptoms and transmission rates, while ignoring critical updates about the ballroom project.
It is journalistic malpractice, and downright unpatriotic, to devote so much time and airspace to a virus that probably won’t even make it to our shores, and not mention, even once, the rumored Italian marble columns for the ballroom.
Americans know how to deal with rodents. You buy traps, and/or acquire a chonky barn cat named Scooter and move on with life. A delayed presidential ballroom, however, can shake civilization to its core. Just think of ancient Rome. They had plagues, too, but people mainly remember the architecture.
Our president is supposed to be the go-to about the nation’s priorities, and there is no single topic, including the ongoing war with Iran, that he cares about more than the ballroom’s construction. He brings it up, on a whim, at pretty much every single public appearance nowadays, and gives us updates on its construction.
The reconciliation budget bill that includes the $1 billion for security improvements in and around the ballroom, was put forth by Senate Judiciary Committee Chair Chuck Grassley a couple of weeks ago. The president has explained that those additions to the ballroom project are necessary for security reasons, which include an underground bunker and state-of-the-art medical facilities, after a would-be assassin was foiled at the White House Correspondents Dinner.
While the ballroom project has been controversial since day one, when Trump had the East Wing of the White House demolished to make room for it last year, critics fundamentally misunderstand this undertaking. This country was built on bold, seemingly improbable dreams: railroads connecting the coasts, casinos in swamps and drive-thru liquor stores, to name a few. This ballroom is simply the next logical step in national evolution.
Just think, also, of all the jobs created by the ballroom. You say there is a problem with unemployment? Well I say there’ll be plenty of opportunities for chandelier polishers or ushers to lead patrons to the really fancy bathrooms.
So no, Americans need not panic about Hantavirus. Just wash your hands, avoid suspicious mice and perhaps don’t inhale when you happen to be inside of a musty old toolshed. But the ballroom? That deserves vigilance.
If America loses the ability to construct gigantic ornate reception halls dedicated to self-congratulation, then the rodents have truly won.
