I don’t want to talk about elections.
I don’t want to talk about politicians.
I don’t want to talk about really really bad policy at the local, state and federal level, cause there’s a lot and it would take too much time.
I wanna talk about flying cars.
A little aside: after eating “Mexican” food at a restaurant in Arizona, my 4-year-old daughter announced to the table that whoever’s came up with plan, “it was not a good idea.”
Yeah, it was not good at all.
So, whoever came up with the idea of flying cars, please refer to my daughter’s admonition.
I have in the course of the last couple of weeks been bombarded with pseudo infomercials for a company called Doroni Aerospace, which claims to have created a car that can take off and land in your driveway.
Then late last week, I was hit with tons of videos and posts about Elon Musk creating a flying Tesla. So while looking up the name of Doroni, I found there are even more, such as Volonaut, LEO, RICTOR (caps are their affectation), AirCar, Pivotal and one simply called AIR (again, not my caps).
All of this raised a slew of questions, not the least of which is, “Why is an idea from a cartoon a good one for us to make real?”
Given that two-dimensional driving — on a road, flat, with vehicles designed to only go forward, backward, left or right — has proven so challenging that governments are demanding, under penalty of law, safety harnesses, airbags, and construction standards that will keep even the most hairbrained driver safe, what makes us think that adding the third dimension of up and down is sensible?
It really boggles my mind about the consequences of this. For instance, who writes the traffic laws for sky driving? What insurance company in its right mind would offer policies on flying contraptions? Or the obvious: the federal government essentially “owns” the skyways (along with the broadcast bands, but that’s a different animal), so what kind of control will it enact? (I shudder to think.)
For the sake of argument, though, let’s assume that flying starts to replace driving. Instead of dragging for pinks, a la “Grease,” we’ll fly. Major retail outlets will replace parking lots with rooftop landing pads. Those of the Boomer and Gen X persuasion would buzz the tower — especially that neighbor with the yappy dog.
Police departments will replace most of their ground fleet with Air Police (a nod to my dad’s MOS back in the 60s). Joy rides will take on a whole new meaning. The more adventurous will deck out their rigs with huge amounts of LED lighting and scare outdoor venues with faux alien invasions.
That will bring us to mid-air collisions, which will be incredibly horrifying as that third dimension of ups and downs are ruled by gravity (which is not just a good idea; it’s the law). Most crashes involve two vehicles; now we can factor homes, businesses, churches and playgrounds into the equation, all of which will be in the crosshairs when gravity asserts its lawful rule.
Is this Luddite thinking? Possibly. But if we’re being honest, we’re seriously not ready for this. I’m all for technological advances, and the idea of being able to hop into the hovercar and fly to work is kind of exciting. But just because we can do a thing, doesn’t mean we should.
Tony Farkas is editor of the San Jacinto News-Times and Trinity County News-Standard. He can be reached at tony@polkcountypublishing.com.
