Except for her size, she looked like a perfect 16 years old. Red nail polish emphasized her tiny nails; gold hoops, her pierced ears. Heavy black "combat boots" weighed down her small feet, and she wore the very latest and expensive teenaged-tot-sized fashions.
She could have been a miniaturized clone, she was that perfect; a replica of adolescent clothing, jewelry, hairstyle, walk and actions. She was 4 years old, and she isn't the only toddler being dressed this way.
Clothing manufacturers have discovered tot fashions that ape teen fashions mean big bucks. Many toddlers and young boys wear earrings, insignia jackets, tote bubblegum beepers, sport tails of hair, wear heavy and cumbersome athletic shoes totally unsuited to normal tot activities.
Ten years, at least, before they might appropriately be concerned with dressing to match peers and to imitate movies, TV, and music idols, toddlers are being garbed in exact duplicates of current teen fashion. Adults actively support teenaged-toddler image by purchasing the clothing and allowing children to wear it.
Sometimes kids look pretty cute in the garb — sort of like playing pretend — only more expensive and with potentially damaging side effects. David Elkind, author of the best books I know on child development, cautions strongly against pushing children into inappropriate circumstances, clothing, schooling, and responsibilities.
He calls our preschool children "at risk”, at risk of losing through too much, too soon, the one thing they must have in order to develop into normal, caring, responsible and self-confident adults — their childhood.
There is a lot to do in childhood. Researchers have identified specific stages of growth that must happen in early years for children to become trusting, self-confident, eager, questioning learners and responsible participants in adult society. All of this must happen in the same few years in which children are now bombarded with images, sounds, and responsibilities more suitable to adults, allowed by adults, and often chosen by adults. There just isn't room for all, and only childhood can come first.
Childhood comes once to each of us, one to a customer, and can't be bought or begged or traded or relived ever again. It is a time much like the window during which the space shuttle must blast off. Miss the window, you miss the trip ... and missing childhood's window means much the same.
Darby Kethan has a master's degree in child development, and has experience as a social worker, educator of young children, educational consultant, and as a professional trainer for a national educational foundation providing professional development to teachers. Visit her website at darbykethan.com.
