An African proverb says that it takes an entire village to raise a child. Another way of expressing this comes from June Banta who says, in her article, “We Are All Raising All Children” (The PEO Record)” ... all adults need to be alert to show interest, kindness and thoughtfulness to young children.”
It used to be that all adults were involved in the care and concerned about all children. Read Sam Levensen’s Everything but Money to recall how neighborhoods and extended families provided constant supervision and support for young children. What has happened to change this village/neighborhood system that served not only to help parents with daily childcare responsibilities but also to let children know how vitally important they are? A friend of mine blames air-conditioning as a primary factor in creating the changes reflected in current societal problems.
As an example, he cites evenings in the typical neighborhood of 25 or more years ago. Picture the houses, doors and windows open, as children return from school and other activities, Dads relax after work and Moms are busy with dinner. One knew what was served as the aromas of food wafted through open windows. Also, through open windows, parents, grandparents and neighbors supervised not only their own but also the children of friends as well. Porch sitting was a social opportunity, a chance to visit with friends, to cool off and rest after work, and served to keep an eye on kids who played outside until dark. Neighbors knew about family events such as new babies, job losses, promotions, and problems as families exchanged information and received support from concerned and caring acquaintances. With air-conditioning has come a closing of the American home ... along with the decline of visiting neighbors and watching others’ kids.
With air-conditioning came closed doors and windows which insulate those inside from those outside. The “connectors” that kept us aware of and interested in the people around us were broken and our social fabric began to disintegrate.
Our society suffers from the actions of children who have grown to adulthood without caring and supportive adults. Child rearing is a bigger job than parents alone can manage. In those long-ago neighborhoods, adults helped parent all children by protecting, encouraging, supervising, and reminding them about appropriate behaviors. Kids knew adults cared.
“We are all raising all children” and we each need to find a way to let a child know they are special and meaningful. The results of this interest, shown through little things such as writing a note to congratulate a child on an achievement, or noticing a neighborhood child with a smile and a greeting by name, strengthens self-esteem and can brighten his day and life. Volunteering to spend time reading to children in school or church programs sends to each child served the important message that adults care enough to spend time with them. It is said that the old ways are often the best ways. In many places we aren’t a village anymore, but we can certainly begin to act like one, especially to save our children.
