The diversity of the mourners reflected the many connections and talents of our friend whose life we celebrated as we mourned her passing. She was a talented, caring, compassionate and capable educator, daughter, aunt, sister, co-worker, church member, and community volunteer.
That she will be greatly missed by many in so many different ways was reflected in her minister’s words as he noted that “rarely does one fallen soldier take out so many armies.’’
Candid and refreshing, he also recognized that in all too few funerals is there a real connection between the eulogy and the reputation of the deceased. Not so in this case, and the glowing tributes paid to my friend were merited 10 times over by her unselfish service to children, colleagues, church and community.
Her large family filled many pews and ranged from infants to grandparents. Many nieces and nephews were there, and unbelievably, neither wiggles, squirming nor sounds called attention to their youth. They behaved with a grace and dignity as befitted their relationship and the occasion.
I thought as I heard, over and over words of comfort that lifted up hope for the life hereafter, what a wonderful gift the parents of these young children gave them by being wise enough to include them in the grieving process.
Real life includes the sad as well as the happy times, the bad and the good times. The reality of life is death, the reality of death is permanent loss on earth of contact and relationships. To deny opportunities for grief and mourning of a beloved aunt, parent or grandparent on the basis of youth is a mistake, I think.
Properly supported by loving and wise adults, the whole process of loss and grieving provides many lessons in love and hope, coping and caring, faith and family functioning for young people. We all will die, and learning to cope with loss, especially the permanent loss and ending that death means, is part of all our lives.
We all have problems learning about death and dealing with loss; look at all the movies that make millions bringing the dead back to life, or the athlete who isn’t ready to go and is granted a reprieve, or the messages brought to earth by the invisible dead-but-friendly ghosts, etc. The reality is, however, that physical life does end although the memories and influences of that life will live on.
The programs my friend started will continue, the children she taught will live the lessons learned from her as will her family members. She will continue, though physically absent, to be a shining star by which we check our directions as we work with young children to achieve for each child his or her highest potential
She made such a wonderful difference in so many lives. She will be greatly missed ... there is nothing else better, I think, to say.
