Snakes shouldn’t be able to climb stairs and there ought to be a law that they can’t be anywhere you don’t expect them! The alertness of my son narrowly avoided injury when he reached for the extra key kept where the “stair-climbing” rattlesnake was lounging. The wall behind the snake will bear shovel-scars for life and the porch looked like a war zone before the snake was subdued (killed “deader than Dixie”). What a way to start the day!
It seems that unexpected and emergency events usually happen at the times when we have less time or fewer faculties operating to understand what is going on. My sister’s house was hit by a drunk driver at 2:30 a.m. As she struggled awake to the sound of breaking glass, her panic thoughts were of a “kick burglar” attack. The drunk left quite a mess. Thankfully there were no injuries but there will be great inconvenience to my sister’s family - they will have to move while repairs are being made. Additionally, the supervision of returning the house to order will keep her from being where hundreds of campers could benefit from her skill and knowledge in learning about the outdoors.
Two problems, each unexpected, and one, certainly, avoidable. My sister commented that if the man driving drunk spent his time cleaning up the messes he makes he’d not have any drinking time left. But the man, like the snake, played no part in repairing the damage or injury he caused. Ultimately, in any circumstance, the solution rests with each of us. Little could be gained by telling the snake to go away and less by telling the drunk to repair his mess. The responsibility for “fixing” our problems, regardless of most circumstances, rests in our hands and in our attitude.
“If there’s a problem here, I must be it” says a lot about responsibility. Another phrase seen on a billboard says the same thing ... “It’s not your fault but it is your problem.” The rattlesnake was as much my problem as it was NOT my fault, and the unconscious drunk created a mess that became my sister’s problem. Of little use in either case are the words many of us use in an attempt to avoid (“not my fault”) or to fix (“you should have ... “) the blame for our circumstances. Failing to understand self-responsibility regardless of fault dooms to go through life as unhappy campers, striving constantly to make a someone ... anyone ... responsible for making things better.
Self-responsibility is a social skill that is hard to teach and even harder for some kids to learn. Many anxious parents and frustrated teachers know that even best intentions and early training do not always produce responsible adults. The best chance that society has for incorporating ideas about self-control and responsibility is through teaching children in early years. Taking care of possessions, using family and community resources wisely and learning to accept increasing levels of responsibility as they grow older are ways to help children understand how little it matters who is at fault, and how important personal response is in changing what happens. Learning to look at self first for clues about what can be done is not easy for most of us, toddlers, teens or adults. Easy or not, the ability to do so is the surest sign of the truly mature, no matter what age.
