We all knew when 1-year-old Richard opened his mouth and let his food roll out what he was communicating. Yuck. When Mom pointed her finger at us during dinner, we knew she meant “Get your elbows off the table,” just as we knew that Dad's thumbs-up gesture meant "Good job.”
How did we know? Because we were part of a wordless communication system where gestures had become associated with meanings.
Communication is a broad term. It means, literally, an exchange of ideas usually requires a sender and a receiver, and results in one or more people understanding what the other means. Although gestures can be effective communicating tools, they can undermine language development in young children.
Remember patting? All mothers of young children know that patting-on-the-stomach gesture, as toddlers pat for juice, food, for assistance, for attention. Moms become so accustomed to this gesture used in context (like patting in front of the refrigerator means juice, and patting with shoes in the child's hands means help) that they understand and respond immediately.
What about pulling? Parents are pulled to the car, meaning “I want to go,” pulled to the kitchen, meaning "I want to eat,” and pulled to the television, “I want to watch.” Then there is bringing; a book means “Read to me,” a toy means "Play with me,” and on and on and on.
Parents usually understand what the child is communicating and often the child's needs are met automatically, without words being used by parent or child. The problems come when the gestures continue to be used long after the child should have developed the ability to use words to communicate.
The real problems come when children who only use gestures to communicate spend time away from home such as in school or day care centers. No one understands them, they become frustrated, and behavior problems can develop. Young children must learn words and the best teachers are parents. So, how?
Teaching by doing is still a great method. Although children don't or can't yet use words, there are still words in their heads. They think about what they want and they show us those thoughts by their actions. If we use words for them, they will learn to use words to express themselves.
Talk to children about what you are doing, like, “I see you want juice. Can you say juice? I am getting juice out of the refrigerator. It is cold. I like apple juice, do you? Do you want more?” Identify everything you do with children, tell them the names for literally everything you see. “The juice is on the top shelf. I see the juice is by the milk. Do you like milk? Do you want a glass or a cup for your juice? I like a tall glass.”
Amazingly enough, children often don’t know words such as "top” and "bottom,” "behind” and "beside.” Direction words such as these are important at home and in school; remember where we were always told to put our names on our papers? Kids can't learn the meanings of words they don’t hear, and they can't learn how to use words unless they hear someone else use them.
Learning vocabulary is just like learning any other skill; it requires someone to show you, someone to help you, and lots of opportunities to practice. For almost every child, that someone is their parents, and their daily life provides the best place to practice.
Darby Kethan has a master's degree in child development, and has experience as a social worker, educator of young children, educational consultant, and as a professional trainer for a national educational foundation providing professional development to teachers. Visit her website at darbykethan.com.
